Doctor Doctor Jokes
"Sit down and I'll deal with you later."
"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!"
"What's come over you?"
"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!"
"Pull yourself together!"
Doctor, Doctor
I can't stop stealing things
Take these pills for a week; if that doesn't work I'll have a color TV!
Doctor, Doctor
What can I do? I think I'm a pair of curtains?
Pull yourself together man!
Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a bridge?
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm god?
How did that start?
In the beginning there was darkness......
Doctor, Doctor
Every bone in my body aches!
Just be glad you aren't a herring!
Doctor, Doctor
Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
Doctor, Doctor
I think I've broken my neck?
Don't worry - keep your chin up!
Doctor Doctor
My daughter has just swallowed my pen - what shall I do?
Use a pencil!
Doctor Doctor
What can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar?
I find that very hard to believe!
Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a pack of cards?
I'll deal with you later!
Doctor, Doctor
You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!
Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a spoon?
Still still and don't stir!
Doctor, Doctor
Every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this stabbing pain in my eye!
I suggest you take the spoon out!
Doctor, Doctor
My irregular heartbeat is really frightening me.
Don't worry - we'll soon put a stop to it!
Doctor, Doctor
Please help me. I think I'm invisible
Next Please!
Doctor, Doctor
I've just swallowed my mouth organ
Well look on the bright side, at least you weren't playing a grand piano!
Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a cat?
How long has this been going on?
Oh, since I was a kitten I guess!
Doctor, Doctor
I've got insomnia
Just sit on the edge of the bed. You'll soon drop off!
Doctor, Doctor
Is there anything wrong with my heart?
After a thorough examination I can confidently say it will last as long as you do!!
Doctor, Doctor
I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
Doctor Doctor
I'm not well - can you give me something to make me better?
Take 2 teaspoons of this after every meal?
But Doctor, I've only got one teaspoon?
Doctor to Dumb Blonde
Well Miss, I've discovered your problem - you are pregnant!
Oh! Is it mine?
Doctor, doctor, I can’t get to sleep.
Lie on the edge of the bed and you’ll soon drop off!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a king.
What’s your name?
Joe.
You must be Joe King!
Doctor, doctor, everyone says I’m invisible.
Who said that?
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel so tired, I don’t know where I am half the time.
Dentist: Open wide now!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there’s two of me.
One at a time please!
Doctor Doctor I feel like a bee!"
"Buzz off!"
Doctor Doctor, I think I’m a spoon.”
“Sit over there, please, and don’t stir!”
Doctor Doctor, I keep losing my memory.
When did you first notice that?
When did I first notice what?
Doctor Doctor, I think I’m invisible.
Who said that?
Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a goat!"
"How long have you felt like this?"
"Since I was a kid!"
Doctor, Doctor! I'm going to die in 51 seconds!"
"I will be with you in a minute!"
Doctor Doctor jokes
Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a needle!"
"I see your point!"
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a bridge.
What’s come over you?
So far, three cars, a bus and a motorcycle!
What do you give an injured lemon?
Lemonade!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I’ll deal with you later!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!
Doctor, doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me!
Next please!