Retirement Jokes
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Old academics never die, they just lose their faculties.
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
Old actors never die, they just drop a part.
Old alcoholics and drug addicts never die, they just get wasted.
Old anthropologists never die, they just become history.
Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.
Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.
Old assets never die, they just depreciate.
Old astronauts never die, they just go to another world.
Old atoms never die, they just decay.
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.
Old bankers never die, they just want to be a loan.
Old baseball players never die, they just run their last lap.
Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.
Old beekeepers never die, they just buzz off.
Old bikers never die, but they're hard on tires.
Old biologists never die, they just ferment away.
Old blondes never fade, they just dye away.
Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.
Old books never die, they just go out-of-print.
Old bowlers never die, they just end up in the gutter.
Old bridge players never die, they just lose their finesse.
Old bridge players never die, they just sit around on their fat aces.
Old bureaucrats never die, they just waste away.
Old burglars never die, they just steal away.
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.
Old editors do it with a red pen.
Old electricians never die, they just do it until it Hz.
Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.
Old energizer bunnies never die, they go on, and on, and on....
Old engineers die, they just lose their bearings.
Old English majors do it with Strunk and White.
Old environmentalists never die, they are just recycled.
Old Eskimos never die, they just get cold feet.
Old Eskimos never die, they just go cold.
Old exorcists never die, they just give up the ghost.
Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.
Old farmers never die, they just spade away.
Old fishermen never die, their rods just go limp.
Old fishermen never die, they just get reel tired.
Old fishermen never die, they just smell that way.
Old football players never die, they just go to the end zone.
Old frogs never die, they just croak.
Old fruit never die, it just pear-ishes.
Old garage men never die, they just retire.
Old golfers never die, they just lose their drive.
Old graphic artists never die, they just de-rez.
Old gymnasts never die, they just take longer to mount.
Old hams never die, they just get grounded.
Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.