School Jokes
One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his
arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D.
“Look what I spelled, Mom!” with a proud smile on his face.
“That's wonderful!” his mom praised him. “Now go put them on the fridge so Dad
can see when he gets home tonight.”
The mom happily thought that her son's Catholic education was certainly having
an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen: “Mom? How do you spell
‘zilla’?”
I Didn't Do My Homework Because...
Guest Author - Victoria Abreo
*I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.
*I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.
*A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.
*Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him. Unfortunately, my homework drowned.
*Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.
*I'm not at liberty to say why.
*I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.
*It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details.
*I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.
*I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
*My mom used it as a dryer sheet.
*My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.
*It's against my religion to do any homework.
*I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.
*I felt it wasn't challenging enough.
*My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.
*We had homework?!
*I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."
*I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.
*I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
I lost it fighting this kid you said you weren't the best teacher in the school
I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
Our puppy toilet trained on it
Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked
I put it in a safe, but lost the combination
I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away
Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing
I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload
My little sister ate it